BFF had to leave after an hour and a half. I elected to stay in the hopes of another BFF that I was texting would show. I shimmied over to a group at the bar that I know in the hopes she would show soon. After an hour and no response from her I made my exit. On my way out I met a black guy friend in the parking lot. Hubby knows him. We made some small talk for a bit. He asked where I was heading and where was hubby. I said he was traveling. Our friend, well, my friend, said why not join him to the next bar down the street that allows cigarettes. I said why not. I called hubby on the way and told him my plans. Hubby said have fun but be safe. Bear in mind we have fantasized about this guy. Once.One hour later and 3 drinks. My friend, call him Bear are well into a good stupor. A few games of pool, a smoky bar, unfamiliar faces and some very strong innuendo and I am feeling fine. Bear asked me if I thought he was attractive. I said of course. Bear is 15 years my junior so sure he is. I tookcareful stock of my situation, including the way I looked. I was twentyfive pounds overweight, my hair had become nothing more than a stragglyuncut mess, I did in fact have small boobs and no manhood. I cried fortwo days after that, unable to accept what had become of myself, andconsidered suicide.I waited until I was alone in the house, then I took the pistol from thelocked box in dad's office, loaded it, and sat naked on the bed, ready toend what could only be a long and very lonely life of desperation,depression, and despair. I sat there like that for a while, and decidedto make one last call, just so someone would come haul my carcass away. Icalled my mother on her cell phone. The phone rang twice, three times,then four, and I was about to hang up when she picked up."Mom?" I said through the sobs, "this is Stephen. I can't take it anymore! I'm...I'm going to...my life is a wreck mom! I can't...it's so...Ifeel like...I've lost everything! I'm going to...go away. Can you.
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